Crossing over

As I started crossing over the bridge, the strength of the wind made me realize immediately that this was definitely not the safest step to take… The gusts were so strong that I would end up stopped mid-motion, with a foot up in the air, trying to move forward but simply feeling stuck and literally immobilized. And I could feel the smile coming up from deep inside of me; the joy of feeling in the presence of something way more powerful than anything else, of something that would always end up conquering it all, of something simply unbeatable and indestructible.

And memories started coming to mind… the time I was on a plane that attempted landing in the middle of a hurricane; and when finally on the ground after a couple of failed attempts, looking for my car in an empty parking garage with gusts of rain and wind so powerful that one would get soaked if less than a good 10 yards away from the open side walls… And then being the only car on the highway while the signs above looked as if they were ready to detach and start flying, looking in the rearview mirror to catch the waves crashing on the path I had just taken, covering all three lanes at once…

Or that other time when I also ended up getting stuck in the middle of a hurricane, missing the highway exit because of the poor visibility and ending up being stuck on the wrong side of a road where the water was at least 2-feet high…

The crazy thunderstorms in Florida, the amazing snow storms in New England, the ice storm in Canada, all those moments where nature was a force not to be reckoned with, where all there was left to do was step aside and bow down, and understand that we could be nothing more than humble beings in the face of this majestic all-powerful one…

And on that bridge, that day, as I made sure to stay as far as away from the water as possible as I knew it would not take much for me to be thrown into it, I realised how much I missed the wild beast that I barely ever get to encounter on this side of the ocean.

I miss the adrenaline, I miss the fears, I miss what it stirs up deep inside of me, that feeling of being small and so completely exposed and helpless. I guess I love walking close to the edge…

More than anything, I miss the way it makes me feel most unexpectedly alive and free…


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