“Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.”
This is probably one of my favorite saying and I have loved it for years. Because I find it so true… People who truly love you will give you the freedom to not always walk the ‘right’ path and to make mistakes without scolding you or passing judgments… They will stand by your side when you fall down or crumble, even if your choices and your behavior are at the source of your descent. They will be there to support you as you find your way back up without saying ‘I told you so’ or ‘that will teach you’… Those are the people that I want surrounding me, the ones who will not mind that I am choosing to experience life my very own way.
Many years ago, a very close friend of mine helped me experience what it was like to have by my side someone who was willing to simply be there for me. I was going through a break-up at the time and had a hard time letting go. Because some questionable behaviors had taken place, most of my friends were strongly advising me to walk away without giving the relationship another chance… But I kept on struggling with it… Until one day, my friend simply told me that she could see I had a really hard time with the situation and that whatsoever I would decide to do for my life, she would remain by my side and would go along with my choice with compassion and respect. And that day, I experienced a new kind of love… By saying those words, she had given me the freedom to explore my true feelings about the situation without taking anybody’s opinions in consideration and for some reason, I finally allowed myself to consider giving it another chance… But as I walked through the motion of that new option in my head, I realized that it simply was not what I truly wanted; soon enough, I had decided that the relationship was over and that I no longer wanted to get back to it. But that decision, because of her love and support, was extremely empowering because it came from me and me only, independently of anyone’s opinion about it… and it made it so much easier for me to move on from there…
Lately, I have been very sensitive and, I’ll admit to it, somewhat susceptible to what people had to say about my life choices: way too often, it seems that people think that they should simply allow themselves to share their opinions and judgments about how you live your life even if they have not been invited to do so… they will give you advice, comment on your words and actions, and tell you everything about what you should and shouldn’t do. They will even sometimes express their disapproval if you do not actually follow their ‘recommendations.’ I find it quite fascinating (and utterly enraging too).
Ironically enough, I have also recently realised that the ones who mind often seem to be the ones who do not really matter while the ones who truly matter would never mind or tell me what to do with my life… They will also be the ones standing by my side without judgments when I need to rewind and try again and will simply be supportive and happy for my accomplishements. And because of that, it often makes it easier to take risks and go for what seems unreachable.